


I Miss You

by BitterPill



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hakoda (Avatar) is a Good Parent, Post-Series, Sokka (Avatar)-centric, Unresolved grief, poor emotional awareness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:27:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26596783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BitterPill/pseuds/BitterPill
Summary: You know that feel when your Mom dies in a Fire Nation raid and you replace her emotionally with your sister and then your sister leaves on a trip with the Avatar without you for the first time? Yeah. It’s like that.
Relationships: Katara & Sokka (Avatar)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 62





	I Miss You

**Author's Note:**

> This one’s for those of us out there who have no idea what their emotions are doing. 
> 
> Also, I have not read the comics so this probably doesn't fit with them.

Katara’s gone…

…On a trip with Aang.

There’s a dam in Earth Kingdom either being built or being torn down and people are arguing over the land and floods and it’s something for The Avatar to deal with and Katara said something about a waterbender would be helpful, which she probably would help but also the Southern Water Tribe is getting back on its feet and there’s not so much for her to do here and she likes to be _needed_ and she wants to go help people who need her and that’s ok.

And Sokka, well, dams are interesting, but they’re not interesting like working out new ways of doing things in the South Pole. All those Northern waterbenders came down and they’re really helpful and they’ve rebuilt so much and everything’s come such a long way but… they’re _terrible_ at problem-solving. Any problem, just throw a waterbender at it and they’ll bend water and waterbending will bend the problem away like water.

Except, obviously, _no_.

But they don’t understand, because the war won’t happen again and the South has benders again, so why not rely on bending for everything?

Except, as previously mentioned, _no._

So Sokka’s stayed behind, and it’s great, he’s learning so much from Dad that he never had the chance to, about negotiation and persuasion (because not everyone will recognise a blatantly very good idea when you put one in front of them). He’s getting to have Gran-Gran’s cooking every night, Dad’s there, Dad appreciates his ideas and his inventions, and the other men do too, and sometimes they make suggestions – _good_ suggestions – and he’s learning so much. It’s a huge task, rebuilding the tribe, as big as ending the war, but he likes to get his hands stuck into the inner workings of it.

But

She’s missing.

She’s not _missing_ , she’s with Aang and between the two of them they can look after themselves and solve whatever they come up against.

She’s not in danger, not really, not the same way they have been while the war was on.

And she wanted to go, and Sokka didn’t, so they were all agreed there. They _chose_ to be where they are. People are apart all the time, it’s fine. They were apart from Dad for ages and that’s turned out fine. Great, even.

And it’s normal to miss people. Sokka’s missed people before. He missed Dad when he left the South Pole, and he missed Gran-Gran when _they_ left the South Pole. He’s missed people plenty before.

And he’s been apart from Katara before. For the final battle they were apart for _days_ and it was (he can admit to himself) terrifying while it happened. But it all turned out really well, and he couldn’t possibly regret it.

It’s just that so often he’ll think of something that Katara would love. He’d think of a _great_ joke, or he’d say something that Katara would know exactly what he meant but leaves everyone struggling to catch his drift. Or seeing all this waterbending being used for things that aren’t fighting, and he knows that Katara would love to see and learn from it and use it. But she’s not here. She’s gone and she’ll nev—Sokka will have to wait to tell her and he’ll probably forget half of it by the time she comes back.

And when they’re eating dinner around the fire, Katara’s not there. Obviously, because she’s somewhere else. But Dad and Gran-Gran are there and the food feels like home and, y’know he misses her. Like anyone would. Like Dad and Gran-Gran probably do.

It’s just. He keeps expecting to hear her voice or see her cooking with Gran-Gran. And when they’re all sitting around the fire, there’s a gap. There’s only three of them.

There’s only been three of them for years, but now it’s a different three of them and it’s like there’s a cold, open pit in their home because she’s not there. She’s always been there but now she’s not. But she’s just gone for a short while, the dam issue will be fixed and even if they get side-tracked somewhere, they’ll still be back in a few weeks. There’s really no reason for his eyes to be burning as he eats his stewed seaprunes. There’s nothing wrong.

And at night, well, it’s night. He sleeps at night, he’s good at that. His bed’s the same as ever, nice and warm and he can sleep as late as he likes.

Which is good. Because some nights… a lot of nights… there’s a sadness like a polar bear-dog sitting on his chest. It takes a lot to keep the tears and crying and messy stuff to a minimum. Because how ridiculous is he? Crying because his sister’s gone on a trip to help people? What kind of man does that?

Anyway, he misses her like an ache all through his body and it’s kind of hard to get to sleep with all that going on.

\---

Gran-Gran takes his face in her hands and wipes her thumbs under his eyes. “Are you getting enough sleep? You look awful.”

Sokka snorts. “Gee, thanks Gran-Gran, you look great too.”

Dad chuckles, “Sleep any longer and he’ll be hibernating.”

Sokka ducks away from Gran-Gran’s grasp and towards the cooling fish breakfast set aside for him. “Maybe I’m just not used to all this staying in one place anymore.” He shrugs half-heartedly and inhales the food.

“You’ve been inside too long,” Dad decides, “Come on, leave your designs for today. We can go fishing.”

\---

They go fishing and it’s… nice.

It’s just the two of them, and it’s only supposed to be the two of them. There’s no one missing here, and he can ignore the empty space back at the village while he’s cracking jokes with Dad.

When they get back, Sokka realises how cold their home has become. And yeah, ha ha, it’s made of ice. But it’s always been warm inside. Like a home. Except a few times when… well. Katara’s coming back.

She’s coming back, and she’s out there doing what she wants to do.

So why is their home so cold? Why does it lay like a blanket over him when he goes to bed? Why does it hurt so much?

It becomes too much one morning after dragging himself out of bed to the side of the fire, pulling the cooling bowl of rice into his lap and spooning it into his mouth.

And tears just start rolling down his cheeks.

He doesn’t know what to do. If he gets up before he’s finished eating he’ll just draw attention to it. As it is, he’s sitting in the middle of the room crying. So he just carries on eating, and maybe no one will notice.

“Sokka,” says Gran-Gran, “What’s wrong?” She puts down her sewing and watches him.

Sokka shrugs and pushes another spoonful into his mouth.

Dad walks in with a blow of cold air from outside. “Ah, up at last?” he teases, setting aside a hunting spear by the door.

“Hakoda,” says Gran-Gran sharply, “Sit down.”

The speed at which Dad obeys really shows that Gran-Gran is his mother.

Oh hey, look at that, more tears. Weird.

“Sokka,” says Dad softly, quickly catching on, “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

Sokka shakes his head. He swallows his mouthful. “I dunno. Just miss Katara.” He pushes more food into his mouth before his voice can crack under the pressure. He catches the glance that Dad and Gran-Gran send at each other.

“You’ve been missing her this badly since she left?” Dad asks carefully.

Sokka sniffs and wipes his nose on his sleeve. “First time I’ve cried at breakfast.” He wipes at his cheeks with the back of his hands, because now he’s said the words, it’s all the more embarrassing.

“Sokka,” says Dad, “She’ll be back soo—”

“What is it you miss about her?” Gran-Gran interrupts, and Dad lets her take over.

Sokka shrugs again, chewing his last mouthful for as long as possible, so he doesn’t have to talk about it.

He can’t chew forever, though.

“I dunno, just, stuff she’d usually do. Things she’d like. Things I’d say to her if she were—If she were here.”

“Where do you miss her most?” Gran-Gran asks.

“This is silly,” Sokka mumbles.

“It’s not silly,” says Dad.

Sokka frowns. “Yes it is. I’m, I’m crying over breakfast because my sister has a life elsewhere. She’s gone,” he flings an arm to point where she’s gone, “She’s gone to where people need her and I’m, we’re here and it’s good, I’m glad she got to go, but there’s… there’s a gap, and she should be here. It’s like she’s taken all the warmth with her and I just want, I want to show her things that she’d like and tell her what I’m doing and all the stuff I’m learning, but I _can’t_ because she’s not here anymore.” A few more tears drip humiliatingly from his chin and into the following silence.

“Son,” says Dad, softly but seriously, “Are you sure you’re talking about Katara?”

“What?” Sokka sniffs and wipes his nose again. “Who- who else is there?”

“It’s okay to miss your mom, Sokka,” says Dad gently.

“M-Mom?” Sokka blinks hurriedly. “It’s been, it’s been years.” He’s fighting a losing battle against a new offense of tears. “I can’t still—It can’t still hurt this much.” But his reactions prove otherwise, even to him. He gulps a few times, trying to get his breathing under control. "I- I miss Mom?" His heart clenches and _spirits_ he just wants his mom to know what he's done and show her how the South Pole looks now. He just wants to know what she'd think and remember what her smile looked like. "I miss Mom," he realises with a fresh wave of sobs.

“Oh, Sokka.” Dad shuffles closer and pulls Sokka into his arms. “It’s okay to still hurt. We all still miss her. I think of her every day, and it still hurts that she’s gone.”

Sokka doesn’t know what to say to that. He doesn’t know if it makes him feel better or worse, but he twists his hands into his dad’s parka and he cries into his dad’s warm and solid chest.

\---

Three weeks later, the exact day when they said they’d be back, Appa announces his return with a happy grumble as he approaches.

“They’re back!” Sokka yelps and leaps out of the house with such enthusiasm that he catches his head on the doorway, but it doesn’t matter because they’re back! Katara’s back! Aang’s back! All of them will be back together again!

Sokka pelts down what passes for the main street and outside the village walls to the nearest piece of flat land that Appa can set down on. “You’re back!” he calls, waving as Appa lowers.

Before any of Appa’s six feet near the snow, Katara jumps off the saddle. She draws the ice up to meet her and slides down it straight into Sokka’s arms. It’s only the added bulk of the past year that means Sokka’s able to keep them upright.

“Sokka!” Katara says, joyful and alive in Sokka’s ear.

“You’re back!” Sokka says again, his eyes watering unnecessarily.

“I missed you,” says Katara, “I missed you so much.”

Aang lands gently next to them, returning the ice to its previous flat state as he does. The look he gives Sokka says _something_ that Sokka can’t quite grasp.

Sokka squeezes his sister tight. “I…yeah. I missed you too.”


End file.
